my sister is a hero
I've just had a chat with my sister. She's had a pretty busy weekend and is getting herself settled down after it now.
Her husband died in April this year, just three years after being diagnosed with, and gradually succumbing to, Motor Neurone Disease (MND). He was 57. Following his wishes, the funeral was both a secular and fuss-free affair with ourselves, his own, and a few other close family members only in attendance.
He was a popular man, a local postman, with a patch he had been delivering on for over twenty years. He'd been a supporter of the local rugby club - were he had been attending the matches that his son was playing in, home and away, since the boy, now twenty nine, had started with their young colts as a ten year old - all the way through to being at the last match he could be at only three weeks before his death.
There were many who wanted to do something more than just send a sympathy card on hearing of his passing, but his wishes for 'not making it a fuss' were stuck to for the funeral.
But my sister was determined that we could give everyone else the chance to say their goodbye somehow, and soon after the funeral got together with their children and started on getting it organised.
It was to be an event, with lots of live music (he was a talented musician, a lead vocalist and bass guitarist, always gigging locally with a number of bands he'd often put together and led over the years), He was a poet and writer, he was an artist. I don't think he knew how many people he just considered to be 'a mate' had held him in such high regard. All of these things would figure in the event too. And there was to be a pledges auction. The whole event would run on volunteers, people would pay to attend, and be able to bid for the donated lots in the auction.
But the main thing was it was to be a fun evening, with drinks and dancing, performance and a celebration, not a dingy or morose memorial.
The second aim was to raise money for the MND Association, a charity that had been a great help to my sister and the immediate family as everyone tried to cope with the realities of the disease, and it gradually taking this beloved, previously lively, quirky, and slightly eccentric character away from them.
The event took place last weekend. The venue was sold out to its capacity - health and safety regulations determining the numbers in the end, not demand. A little local hall in the small town he'd lived in since he went to the grammar school in his teens, that I'd actually been at with him before he'd even met my sister.
In the end, I couldn't go myself. I'd had my little health emergency in a hospital just a few days before, so I was not really fit to travel, but my son went as he is the drummer in one of the bands that was playing.
As it turns out, this was a fortuitous miss as Mrs B tested positive for Covid the next day, so we avoided it being a super-spreader event for that as well.
My sister had called to recount all the tales about the event and had managed to find the time to get a rough estimate of the funds raised for the MND charity now. With donations on the night, as well as the proceeds of both tickets and the auction, it all came to just over £6000.
My sister was exhausted I think, but she was so happy about people telling her how much of a good time they'd had, and how it added to their already good memories. And that is something that makes me happy after us all having an eventful and traumatic year so far.
If you liked the post, click the toast! (I guess just close it and quietly slink away if you didn't)